Giving Up?!

 

This is gonna be a long and very long post, because I’m just gonna pour my heart out 🙂 Yes, it is you know, one of those heart to heart post. hehehe. So, you’re all welcome to read. And please#sorryformybadgrammar.

I remember last year, the first time I started Master Degree in Norway, I was so excited. I was so happy. I went to class, I listened to what the teachers has to say. two weeks passed, 1 month passed, 3month passed. But, the more I went to class the more I feel like I am the stupidest student in class. I never done this before. I don’t know how to write academic essay. I don’t know how to write a book report. I don’t know anything about writing master thesis in english academically. I was not sure if I understand everything, I was not sure of I’m doing. I prayed, I prayed and I prayed. I asked myself so many times “Is this really what I want to do?”, “Should I stop going to class?”, “Should I quit?”. I asked God so many times, “God, is this really what you want me to do?”, “Did i take the wrong way?”.

I cried. so. many. times.
I was so scared, confused and lost.
I was so scared I will fail on my exams.
I was so scared that I will never be able to graduate.

So, I go ahead and pray. Then I cry.
I went to pray again. Then I cry again, then I went to pray again.
Then I cry again and then I pray again.
I don’t know how many times I cried to Him. Tell Him how scared I was. But that time, I feel like He did not say anything.
Last year was a hard season for me. I almost gave up my study. But I gave myself a time to think. And with all the strength that I have, I slowly picked myself up and decided to keep going. I decided to not giving up before the war. I decided to give myself a try.

…..

Around two weeks ago, my husband asked me to read him any of bible scripture. I took my bible, the message version, and read it up for him. So, I flipped the page one by one and ended up reading a lot of scriptures. However, there’s this one….

“The best thing you can do right now is to finish what you’ve started last year and not let those good intentions grow stale. Your heart’s been in the right place all along. You’ve got what it takes to finish it up, so go to it. Once the commitment is clear, you do what you can, not what you can’t.” 2 Corinthians 8 (The Message).

My heart was like stabbed. Even now as I am writing this post for you guys and read this scripture again, well, I’m crying. God is so great.
And honestly two weeks ago was the first time I felt peace and assurance to finish my study. The moment I feel like I can’t do it, I shout at myself “Yes I can. With God everything is possible”.

Now, I am writing my master thesis. I am on my last year of finishing this course. I can’t believe it! I am feeling good, even though I am a little bit nervous. But I have the best God who take care of my needs and His grace is continue by giving me the best supervisor. My energy is fully charged! I’m ready, so ready! So excited that I am almost done with uni, even though I don’t know where I will be after this, but hey! I know that I am part of something bigger. My struggle was great but my Jesus is greater. So, fear not, Stef!!

“we’re not sure what to do; but we know that God knows what to do; we’ve been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn’t left our side; we’ve been thrown down, but we haven’t broken” 2 Corinthians 4 (The Message)

Thank you for reading.
Thank you for people who always support and pray for along the way. I love you guys! ❤
I hope this post will help you who may face the same situation right now, either at your job, school, uni, etc. Never give up. Just don’t 🙂

Have a blessed day!

Advertisements

10 Comments Add yours

  1. livelove says:

    You can do it!! It doesn’t have to be perfect when you start writing. Let the mind flow, then edit later. Xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. stefieamsrud says:

      Thank you so much for your support :”) Please pray for me xx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Gracey says:

    Hi Kak Stefie, I love reading your blog! Would you like to share on a blog post about your wedding if you don’t mind? Thank you and God Bless 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. stefieamsrud says:

      Hi Gracey 🙂 Thank you for reading my blog..
      Hmnn, do you mean about my wedding day and all of the stuff around that? :))
      What do you want to know? Let me know so I can write it sometimes 🙂 Thank you for your suggestions! xox

      Like

      1. Yupp. Well, your wedding in general where and how hehe. I was just curious looking at your post-wedding picture at the beach, looked simple yet beautiful 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. stefieamsrud says:

        Heyyyy Grace 🙂 Yes of course 🙂 Ditunggu yah. Thank you for your idea 🙂 xox

        Like

  3. Vivian says:

    Cheering you on from the other side of the world. Love you babe! 😍 You are doing so well! It will be done before you know it & I believe God has already started stirring something in your heart for your next step. Love you to the moon & back x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. stefieamsrud says:

      Vivian! Thank you very much! You have no idea how much your encouragement means to me! I love you and I miss you. I really really wish we can see each other as soon as possible and having nice talk with a bowl of warm tom yum soup 🙂

      I love you lotttsss!! xoxo

      Like

  4. Thank you for sharing. You are not alone because I’ve experienced this feelings many times before and through your weaknesses God’s grace will prevail and all you can do is to put your trust in Him. I love the bible verse you shared really encouraging ^_^
    XOXO,
    TypiCalrin

    Liked by 1 person

    1. stefieamsrud says:

      Awww thank you reading and being so encouraging :)) Amen! I believe in that so much… I’m glad you love it! Post yang banyak Calrin! Enjoy USA xx

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s