This is gonna be a long and very long post, because I’m just gonna pour my heart out 🙂 Yes, it is you know, one of those heart to heart post. hehehe. So, you’re all welcome to read. And please#sorryformybadgrammar.
I remember last year, the first time I started Master Degree in Norway, I was so excited. I was so happy. I went to class, I listened to what the teachers has to say. two weeks passed, 1 month passed, 3month passed. But, the more I went to class the more I feel like I am the stupidest student in class. I never done this before. I don’t know how to write academic essay. I don’t know how to write a book report. I don’t know anything about writing master thesis in english academically. I was not sure if I understand everything, I was not sure of I’m doing. I prayed, I prayed and I prayed. I asked myself so many times “Is this really what I want to do?”, “Should I stop going to class?”, “Should I quit?”. I asked God so many times, “God, is this really what you want me to do?”, “Did i take the wrong way?”.
I cried. so. many. times.
I was so scared, confused and lost.
I was so scared I will fail on my exams.
I was so scared that I will never be able to graduate.
So, I go ahead and pray. Then I cry.
I went to pray again. Then I cry again, then I went to pray again.
Then I cry again and then I pray again.
I don’t know how many times I cried to Him. Tell Him how scared I was. But that time, I feel like He did not say anything.
Last year was a hard season for me. I almost gave up my study. But I gave myself a time to think. And with all the strength that I have, I slowly picked myself up and decided to keep going. I decided to not giving up before the war. I decided to give myself a try.
Around two weeks ago, my husband asked me to read him any of bible scripture. I took my bible, the message version, and read it up for him. So, I flipped the page one by one and ended up reading a lot of scriptures. However, there’s this one….
“The best thing you can do right now is to finish what you’ve started last year and not let those good intentions grow stale. Your heart’s been in the right place all along. You’ve got what it takes to finish it up, so go to it. Once the commitment is clear, you do what you can, not what you can’t.” 2 Corinthians 8 (The Message).
My heart was like stabbed. Even now as I am writing this post for you guys and read this scripture again, well, I’m crying. God is so great.
And honestly two weeks ago was the first time I felt peace and assurance to finish my study. The moment I feel like I can’t do it, I shout at myself “Yes I can. With God everything is possible”.
Now, I am writing my master thesis. I am on my last year of finishing this course. I can’t believe it! I am feeling good, even though I am a little bit nervous. But I have the best God who take care of my needs and His grace is continue by giving me the best supervisor. My energy is fully charged! I’m ready, so ready! So excited that I am almost done with uni, even though I don’t know where I will be after this, but hey! I know that I am part of something bigger. My struggle was great but my Jesus is greater. So, fear not, Stef!!
“we’re not sure what to do; but we know that God knows what to do; we’ve been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn’t left our side; we’ve been thrown down, but we haven’t broken” 2 Corinthians 4 (The Message)
Thank you for reading.
Thank you for people who always support and pray for along the way. I love you guys! ❤
I hope this post will help you who may face the same situation right now, either at your job, school, uni, etc. Never give up. Just don’t 🙂
Have a blessed day! ❤